1 00:00:00,322 --> 00:00:07,004 MOSFILM 2 00:00:07,233 --> 00:00:12,318 ABSOLUTELY SERIOUS 3 00:00:12,318 --> 00:00:17,213 Experimental Studio of Comedy Film ALMANAC #1 4 00:00:34,311 --> 00:00:37,279 1961 5 00:00:42,837 --> 00:00:44,546 Hello, comrades. 6 00:00:44,939 --> 00:00:51,409 Our Comedy Studio asked me to give you a short excursion around the movie studio 7 00:00:57,698 --> 00:01:02,193 All of you like comedies, but not all know how they are made. 8 00:01:02,193 --> 00:01:05,921 I am Filippov, Sergei Nikolayevich. 9 00:01:05,921 --> 00:01:09,865 And if you don't mind, then... Welcome. 10 00:01:13,935 --> 00:01:16,984 Let me tell you how it all is made... Hello. 11 00:01:16,984 --> 00:01:19,645 Since we are talking about a comedy... Hello. 12 00:01:19,645 --> 00:01:24,871 Intonation in this case plays a big role as one can say each phrase differently. 13 00:01:24,871 --> 00:01:29,220 For example: It is being MADE? Or: It IS being made? 14 00:01:29,220 --> 00:01:33,856 Or: IT is being made? 15 00:01:34,085 --> 00:01:37,817 But still, comedies are being made... - Hello. - Hello. 16 00:01:37,817 --> 00:01:48,034 In the basis of every movie is... What? The screen-play. 17 00:01:48,375 --> 00:01:54,319 We are in the screen-play writers' department. 18 00:01:56,270 --> 00:02:00,466 Do you hear? They are working with the author right now. 19 00:02:12,743 --> 00:02:20,983 I don't know how his screen-play was created, but I know very well how Robinson was created. 20 00:02:21,246 --> 00:02:27,208 I. Ilf and Ye. Petrov: HOW ROBINSON WAS CREATED. Skit. 21 00:02:27,208 --> 00:02:30,197 Producer - Eldar Ryazanov 22 00:02:44,644 --> 00:02:46,567 Cast: 23 00:02:46,567 --> 00:02:50,749 Editor - Anatoliy Papanov Writer - Sergei Filippov 24 00:03:07,826 --> 00:03:12,413 The editorial office of illustrated magazine "Adventure Lot" 25 00:03:12,413 --> 00:03:19,264 was feeling the lack of written works that would be able to attract attention of young readers. 26 00:03:26,270 --> 00:03:31,101 Editorial Office Portfolio. 27 00:03:31,414 --> 00:03:35,281 There were some works, but they were not quite right. "7 Days Inside A Shark" 28 00:03:35,281 --> 00:03:38,651 There was too much drooling seriousness in them. "In Anaconda's Grip" 29 00:03:38,651 --> 00:03:42,304 "Flying Dishes" To tell the truth, they darkened the souls of young readers instead. 30 00:03:42,304 --> 00:03:47,107 And the editor wanted to draw their attention. 31 00:03:47,731 --> 00:03:54,049 But what if I invite Moldovantzev and order a novel with continuation from him? 32 00:03:54,049 --> 00:03:58,514 And next day writer Moldovantzev was already sitting in the editor's office. 33 00:03:58,514 --> 00:04:08,591 You see, my dear, it has to be entertaining, fresh and full of interesting adventures. 34 00:04:08,591 --> 00:04:13,969 In other words, it has to be a... Soviet Robinson Crusoe. 35 00:04:13,969 --> 00:04:18,764 So that the reader won't manage to tear their eyes off it. 36 00:04:18,764 --> 00:04:26,365 - Robinson... Hmm.. It can be done. - But not just Robinson, but SOVIET Robinson. 37 00:04:26,365 --> 00:04:29,945 Of course. What other? Not Turkish, for sure! 38 00:04:33,005 --> 00:04:37,483 The writer wasn't a talkative man. One could tell at once that he was a man of action. 39 00:04:38,653 --> 00:04:42,627 On the one hand, Moldovantzev didn't stray far away from the famous original. 40 00:04:42,627 --> 00:04:44,127 Robinson is Robinson, after all. 41 00:04:44,127 --> 00:04:49,992 On the other hand, he brought the indestructible power of his own imagination into the new novel. 42 00:04:51,487 --> 00:04:54,423 A Soviet young man gets into a ship wreck. 43 00:04:54,423 --> 00:04:57,965 The waves bring him to an uninhabited island. 44 00:04:57,965 --> 00:05:02,160 He is alone, defenceless against great nature. 45 00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:07,151 He's surrounded by dangers - animals, vines, the upcoming rain season. 46 00:05:07,494 --> 00:05:16,375 But our Robinson, full of energy, overcomes all obstacles, which seemed to be insuperable. 47 00:05:16,375 --> 00:05:26,218 He holds victory over nature. He built a little house, surrounded it with a green ring of vegetable patches, 48 00:05:26,527 --> 00:05:31,412 started breeding bunnies and taught his parrot to wake him up with: 49 00:05:31,412 --> 00:05:37,122 "Attention! Throw off your blanket, throw off your blanket! We're beginning morning exercises." 50 00:05:38,624 --> 00:05:42,879 The novel was obviously turning out to be good. And it was ready by the dead-line. 51 00:05:44,515 --> 00:05:55,764 It is very good. And the mention of bunnies is just magnificent. And very contemporary. 52 00:05:56,472 --> 00:06:02,628 But you see, I don't quite understand the main idea of the novel. 53 00:06:02,947 --> 00:06:05,549 Well, the fight of a man with nature. 54 00:06:05,549 --> 00:06:08,350 Well, yes. But there's nothing modern in there. 55 00:06:08,350 --> 00:06:12,591 What about the parrot? I used it to substitute a radio. It's an experimental transistor. 56 00:06:12,591 --> 00:06:16,926 Well, the parrot is good. And the ring of vegetable patches is good. 57 00:06:17,158 --> 00:06:21,935 But... There is no feeling of society in there. 58 00:06:22,385 --> 00:06:29,069 - Where for example is... - What? - The local party committee. The ruling role of trade union? 59 00:06:29,279 --> 00:06:31,077 What does the local party committee have to do with it? 60 00:06:31,077 --> 00:06:37,006 The island is after all... uninhabited. 61 00:06:37,006 --> 00:06:42,668 Yes, you are completely right. It's uninhabited. 62 00:06:42,668 --> 00:06:46,548 But... There HAS to be the local party committee. 63 00:06:46,548 --> 00:06:51,485 No, I'm not an artist of word, but in your place... 64 00:06:51,485 --> 00:06:54,836 I would put it in.... As a modern element. 65 00:06:54,836 --> 00:07:00,106 But the whole plot is based on the island being uninhabi... 66 00:07:02,039 --> 00:07:06,710 - Well... - Well... 67 00:07:07,892 --> 00:07:13,555 But you know, you are right. Really, why didn't I think about it to begin with? 68 00:07:13,555 --> 00:07:16,972 It just... didn't come to me. 69 00:07:16,972 --> 00:07:23,006 No, really. Two people survive the ship wreck - our Robinson and the head of the local party committee. 70 00:07:23,006 --> 00:07:29,328 - And two free members... - Oh! - No "Oh!". Two free members and one female activist. 71 00:07:29,328 --> 00:07:31,493 The collector of payments from the members. 72 00:07:31,493 --> 00:07:35,287 - Why do we need the collector? Who will she collect from? - From Robinson. 73 00:07:35,287 --> 00:07:38,980 - The head of the committee can collect from Robinson. He won't die from it. 74 00:07:38,980 --> 00:07:42,526 You are mistaken here, comrade Moldovantzev. It's completely not allowed. 75 00:07:42,526 --> 00:07:45,127 The head of the local party committee cannot deal with such small matters 76 00:07:45,473 --> 00:07:47,484 as running around and collecting payments from members. 77 00:07:47,484 --> 00:07:51,338 We are fighting against that! He has to perform managing work! 78 00:07:51,338 --> 00:07:57,908 You are right. Then we'll put the collector in too. 79 00:07:58,150 --> 00:08:04,824 It's even good. Because then she could marry the head of the committee. Or even Robinson. 80 00:08:04,824 --> 00:08:07,009 It'll be more interesting to read. 81 00:08:07,009 --> 00:08:12,529 I wouldn't advise that. Don't go as low as the trash literature, that unhealthy erotics. 82 00:08:12,529 --> 00:08:19,990 Let her just collect the payments and keep them in a... fire-proof safe. 83 00:08:19,990 --> 00:08:27,629 Excuse me, but there can be no fire-proof safes on an uninhabited island. 84 00:08:27,629 --> 00:08:37,150 Hmmm... Wait a second. You have a wonderful spot there in the first chapter. 85 00:08:37,150 --> 00:08:44,747 In addition to Robinson and the members of the committee the waves bring different things to the shore. 86 00:08:44,747 --> 00:08:50,655 An axe, a carbine, salt, a keg of rum and a bottle of anti-scurvy medicine. 87 00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:55,169 OK, cross the rum out, and then what is that bottle of anti-sc...arvy medicine? 88 00:08:55,169 --> 00:09:01,562 Who needs that? Better it be an ink bottle. And, for sure, the fire-proof safe. 89 00:09:01,562 --> 00:09:10,812 Why are you so obsessed about the safe? The payments can be easily stored in... the hollow in baobab. 90 00:09:10,812 --> 00:09:15,677 - Who will steal them there? - What do you mean who? What about Robinson?! 91 00:09:15,677 --> 00:09:20,733 Or the commission on assigning the living quarters?! 92 00:09:20,733 --> 00:09:27,012 - What? They also survived? - They did. 93 00:09:27,596 --> 00:09:32,465 - Then maybe the waves also brought a conference table? - Of course. 94 00:09:32,465 --> 00:09:38,287 We have to create work conditions for people. The table, the water pitcher, the bell, the table cloth. 95 00:09:38,287 --> 00:09:45,099 The wave can bring any table cloth you like - red, green... As you see, I'm not restricting the artist's work. 96 00:09:45,099 --> 00:09:52,640 But what you have to do first of all, my dear, is to show masses - large numbers of working class. 97 00:09:52,870 --> 00:09:57,361 The waves cannot bring masses! That is against the plot. 98 00:09:57,361 --> 00:10:02,040 Just think about it - the waves bring several dozens thousands of people to the shore! 99 00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:04,060 HENS even would laugh at that! 100 00:10:04,060 --> 00:10:08,546 By the way, some amount of healthy soul-cleansing laughter will never be bad. 101 00:10:10,678 --> 00:10:13,018 - No, the waves cannot do that. - But why waves? 102 00:10:13,018 --> 00:10:16,909 But how then do the masses get to the island? The island is UNINHABITED! 103 00:10:16,909 --> 00:10:19,416 But who told you it's uninhabited? 104 00:10:19,416 --> 00:10:24,121 No, you are really confusing me. Everything is clear. Say, there's an island... 105 00:10:24,121 --> 00:10:29,082 Or even a peninsula. It's less trouble that way. 106 00:10:29,082 --> 00:10:36,220 And several entertaining, fresh and most interesting adventures take place there. 107 00:10:36,220 --> 00:10:41,567 Work within the trade unions is being done, sometimes maybe even not quite enough of it. 108 00:10:41,567 --> 00:10:46,571 The female activist finds several problems with collecting the payments from the members. 109 00:10:46,571 --> 00:10:51,256 The wide masses and the repented head of committee help her. 110 00:10:51,256 --> 00:10:55,960 And in the end we'll give them an all-present meeting. 111 00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:59,456 It will be very effective from the artistic point of view. 112 00:10:59,456 --> 00:11:02,625 And... That's it. 113 00:11:02,625 --> 00:11:05,323 And what about Robinson? 114 00:11:06,039 --> 00:11:10,001 It's good that you reminded me. Robinson is what bothers me. 115 00:11:10,001 --> 00:11:18,101 Just throw him out entirely. He's just a ridiculous and unjustifiable figure of a whiner. 116 00:11:23,231 --> 00:11:34,232 Well... All right... It'll be ready tomorrow. 117 00:11:34,232 --> 00:11:42,620 Very well! Go and create! Create! Go! 118 00:11:43,772 --> 00:11:52,100 Good luck!... And by the way. There's a ship wreck in the beginning of your novel. 119 00:11:52,100 --> 00:11:59,008 You know, the wreck is not neccessary. Let there be no ship wreck. 120 00:11:59,213 --> 00:12:05,467 It'll be more entertaining that way. Right? Good bye. 121 00:12:13,517 --> 00:12:21,212 Now I will have a real entertaining and very artistic work! 122 00:12:25,547 --> 00:12:29,326 Mashenka, you cut out the most interesting piece. 123 00:12:29,326 --> 00:12:32,924 Sergei Nikolayevich, it's not me - it's the director. 124 00:12:32,924 --> 00:12:37,573 - But why? - He says that the flow of the composition is broken by it. 125 00:12:37,775 --> 00:12:49,542 - Where is the tape? - Here. - Can you show me? - Lyuda, could you put it in please? 126 00:12:54,916 --> 00:12:58,603 A Soviet young man gets into a ship wreck. 127 00:12:58,603 --> 00:13:01,582 The waves bring him to an uninhabited island. 128 00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:22,866 He is alone, defenceless against great nature. 129 00:13:22,866 --> 00:13:24,315 "Rum", "Anti-scurvy medicine" 130 00:13:24,315 --> 00:13:29,030 He's surrounded by dangers - animals, vines, the upcoming rain season. 131 00:13:45,796 --> 00:13:53,114 But our Robinson, full of energy, overcomes all obstacles, which seemed to be insuperable. 132 00:14:10,802 --> 00:14:16,186 He holds victory over nature. He built a little house, surrounded it with a green ring of vegetable patches, 133 00:14:27,542 --> 00:14:32,611 started breeding bunnies. He made himself clothes out of monkeys' tails. 134 00:14:36,653 --> 00:14:39,415 And he taught his parrot to wake him up with: 135 00:14:39,415 --> 00:14:44,825 "Attention! Throw off your blanket, throw off your blanket! We're beginning morning exercises." 136 00:15:00,286 --> 00:15:04,826 And in three years, a scientific expedition finds him. 137 00:15:24,122 --> 00:15:30,191 - Here you go. - And all this didn't make it into the movie? - No. 138 00:15:31,194 --> 00:15:36,230 Well, I'll go to the critics conference then. They're just reviewing a movie. 139 00:15:36,230 --> 00:15:39,209 A new comedy from this almanac. 140 00:15:50,506 --> 00:15:53,597 - Comrade... 141 00:15:56,030 --> 00:16:07,354 Today we've gathered here in order to view and discuss films, comedy films. 142 00:16:08,106 --> 00:16:11,047 Rostislav Plyatt in movie joke: 143 00:16:11,047 --> 00:16:13,940 A Story With Pastries. 144 00:16:32,951 --> 00:16:35,478 Cast: 145 00:16:35,728 --> 00:16:38,160 Customer - R. Plyatt 146 00:16:38,443 --> 00:16:40,973 Store Director - G. Georgiu 147 00:16:41,202 --> 00:16:43,668 Department Manager - B. Novikov 148 00:16:43,932 --> 00:16:46,356 Section Manager - E. Treivas 149 00:16:46,697 --> 00:16:49,174 Cashier - S. Kharitonova 150 00:16:49,631 --> 00:16:51,720 Woman In The Line - Rina Zelyonaya 151 00:16:56,225 --> 00:17:00,437 - Citizen, take a basket, please. - Thank you. 152 00:17:26,848 --> 00:17:30,255 - Are you last in the line? - Me. - I'll be next. 153 00:17:30,255 --> 00:17:39,608 Next. I see cocoa, I see ruff paste, I see peanut cake. 3.15, please. 154 00:17:39,999 --> 00:17:43,950 - Excuse me. - Oh, of course. 155 00:17:47,653 --> 00:17:49,080 6.34. Next. 156 00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:50,806 Here's 10 copecks. 157 00:17:50,806 --> 00:17:52,238 For what? I don't see anything. 158 00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:53,473 For two pastries. 159 00:17:53,473 --> 00:17:55,842 Well, first take the pastries and then pay. 160 00:17:55,842 --> 00:17:58,043 - I already took them. - Then where are they? 161 00:17:58,043 --> 00:18:04,368 - I ate them. - What? How'd you eat them? - How? Just like that. Put them in my mouth and um... 162 00:18:04,368 --> 00:18:07,395 Comrades, I don't have time for jokes, I have a line here. Next. 163 00:18:07,395 --> 00:18:11,825 I'm sorry. Excuse me. Please, take the ten copecks from me. 164 00:18:11,825 --> 00:18:18,547 - For what? - For two pastries. - But I told you already - first take the pastries and then pay. 165 00:18:18,547 --> 00:18:21,889 - I already took them. - Then where are they? - I ate them. 166 00:18:21,889 --> 00:18:24,960 But, you see, I cannot take money for products that I don't see. 167 00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:29,175 - Why is he stuck there? I don't understand. Very strange! - Just take his money! 168 00:18:29,175 --> 00:18:32,263 - So what? I should leave without paying? - If you wish. 169 00:18:32,263 --> 00:18:36,928 Comrades, dear comrades, I'm in a hurry. I want to pay, but they don't take my money. 170 00:18:36,928 --> 00:18:41,820 They don't take his money! Did you every see money not being taken? 171 00:18:41,820 --> 00:18:46,891 - What's the matter? - I want to pay. - Tonechka, this comrade wants to pay. 172 00:18:46,891 --> 00:18:51,651 - For what? - For what? - For two pastries. - For two pastries. 173 00:18:51,651 --> 00:18:56,649 - And where are they? - And where are they? - You see, I ate them. - He ate them. 174 00:18:56,649 --> 00:18:59,894 Wait, what do you mean you ate them? 175 00:18:59,894 --> 00:19:05,098 Well, just like that. Put in my mouth and... Like that. 176 00:19:05,098 --> 00:19:10,213 You are joking. Tonechka, this comrade is joking. 177 00:19:10,213 --> 00:19:12,167 I'm not joking. I'm in a hurry. 178 00:19:12,167 --> 00:19:16,019 Just one minute. I was watching him. I don't know how many exactly he ate, 179 00:19:16,019 --> 00:19:19,358 but, in any case, he was constantly chewing something. 180 00:19:19,570 --> 00:19:22,798 - Shame on you! - Shame on me? 181 00:19:22,798 --> 00:19:25,030 If so, I'll write a complaint! Give me the Book of Complaints! 182 00:19:25,030 --> 00:19:29,304 Excuse me, but what are you going to write about? It's you who ate the pastries and not us. 183 00:19:29,304 --> 00:19:33,881 (Cashier) - Writer! - Tonechka! - I'm not a writer. I'm a philologist. - Comrade Philonov! 184 00:19:33,881 --> 00:19:36,625 Follow me, please. - Yes, of course. - Here, please. - Yes. 185 00:19:37,638 --> 00:19:38,744 - Here... - What? 186 00:19:38,744 --> 00:19:46,102 We cannot watch everybody. After all, we cannot put you on a scale before entrance and then as you leave. 187 00:19:46,102 --> 00:19:51,300 Or flash you with X-rays. Or... - But I WANT to be X-rayed! - What? 188 00:19:51,300 --> 00:19:58,770 Yes. Put me on the scale before and after. Take my stomach juices for analyses. Call the experts. I demand it! 189 00:19:58,770 --> 00:20:06,216 Follow me please. Georgiy Aleksandrovich. This comrade wants to pay and we want to get... 190 00:20:08,648 --> 00:20:11,815 - There seems to be a discrepancy. - Just a trifle. You see... 191 00:20:11,815 --> 00:20:17,990 Such small problems spoil our health. Take a seat. Sit down, sit down... 192 00:20:18,269 --> 00:20:20,704 - Smoke? - Thank you, I quit. 193 00:20:20,921 --> 00:20:25,604 - Here you go. - Thank you. I wish everyone was like you. 194 00:20:25,604 --> 00:20:32,175 Our motto is "Trust". Everything is in the open here. 195 00:20:33,669 --> 00:20:39,704 See? Take it, put it in, go and pay. Everything's for you. 196 00:20:39,704 --> 00:20:43,200 Yes, I like it very much. And I want to pay. 197 00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:47,209 Haste and rush are all not neccessary, wasteful. 198 00:20:47,209 --> 00:20:49,955 Of course, you'll pay. But in its good time. 199 00:20:49,955 --> 00:20:58,034 Right now it's 7 p.m. We'll close the store at eight, count the left-overs. 200 00:20:58,236 --> 00:21:01,076 If we're two pastries short, then you're welcome to pay. 201 00:21:01,285 --> 00:21:06,223 But what if you are missing a jar of jelly, then what? 202 00:21:08,360 --> 00:21:13,307 It not polite. It's not polite to make fun of food industry employees. 203 00:21:15,490 --> 00:21:24,523 Comrade customer. Comrade customer. - But you see, his kight moved from F-4 to G-6. 204 00:21:24,523 --> 00:21:30,686 - Let's go count the left-overs. - Just a minute. - What is it? What is so interesting here? 205 00:21:30,686 --> 00:21:34,650 Let's go count the left-overs. - Yes, of course. In a sec. 206 00:21:36,114 --> 00:21:42,136 Here you go. Follow me please. - Excuse me. - What is it? 207 00:21:42,342 --> 00:21:46,334 I got so attached to it already. - Here you go. Please. 208 00:21:48,270 --> 00:21:55,927 Welcome, our dear customer. Watch. Observe. - Yes, it's very interesting. 209 00:21:55,927 --> 00:22:02,652 If something seems wrong, make your suggestions. Find a seat for the comrade. Here you go. 210 00:22:03,697 --> 00:22:10,006 - Wonderful! Ivan Zenovyevich, it's all right. We are two pastries short. - Two pastries. 211 00:22:10,006 --> 00:22:17,069 Georgiy Aleksandrovich, all products are here, except that we, like we thought, are missing the two pastries. 212 00:22:17,069 --> 00:22:18,536 - It's wonderful! - It happens. 213 00:22:19,256 --> 00:22:26,400 He's sleeping. - Comrade... - Comrade customer. - Comrade Philonov, here's your hat. 214 00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:29,207 - I don't need change. - No, no, that's to the register. 215 00:22:29,207 --> 00:22:34,407 Comrade customer, you had a chance to see that the system without an over-the-counter sales person is working perfectly. 216 00:22:34,407 --> 00:22:37,495 Everything is correct, you need to pay for two pastries. No, no, not to me - to the register. 217 00:22:37,495 --> 00:22:39,722 Tonechka, please take the payment from the comrade for two pastries. 218 00:22:39,722 --> 00:22:41,489 Tonechka, hurry, please. 219 00:22:41,489 --> 00:22:44,576 - Please, here's ten copecks. - All right. 220 00:22:48,177 --> 00:22:49,771 Take the receipt. 221 00:22:52,338 --> 00:22:54,616 Give me the receipt. 222 00:22:56,531 --> 00:22:58,850 Do come back. 223 00:23:00,907 --> 00:23:02,117 Everyone is free to go. 224 00:23:02,117 --> 00:23:07,235 Pastries! Hot fried pastries! Hot fried pastries with jelly! 225 00:23:21,940 --> 00:23:26,743 FOREIGNERS. Skit. 226 00:23:53,916 --> 00:23:56,787 Cast: 227 00:23:57,100 --> 00:24:00,331 Zhora Volobuyev - V. Kulik 228 00:24:00,331 --> 00:24:03,122 Zhora's mother - Mariya Mironova 229 00:24:03,328 --> 00:24:06,458 Zhora's Granny - M. Kravchunovskaya 230 00:24:06,458 --> 00:24:09,142 Frank - A. Belyavskiy 231 00:24:09,142 --> 00:24:12,654 Edik - I. Rutberg 232 00:24:12,654 --> 00:24:15,694 Mary - T. Bestayeva 233 00:25:06,512 --> 00:25:09,520 Zhora! Right from the morning?! 234 00:25:15,467 --> 00:25:22,122 When will you become a man? Vasya Dyerniy found a job a long time ago! 235 00:25:22,122 --> 00:25:24,901 Yes, and I'll have you know he's no dumber than you. 236 00:25:26,073 --> 00:25:30,625 Just keep in mind. If you get into any trouble, I won't survive it! 237 00:25:32,231 --> 00:25:34,527 You teach them, bring them up and then... 238 00:25:39,832 --> 00:25:42,453 Granny! 239 00:25:55,801 --> 00:25:59,446 Maybe you should soap them! Your legs, that is. It'll be easier. 240 00:25:59,446 --> 00:26:03,485 Ah, just go to the stairwell and work with your broom! 241 00:26:06,883 --> 00:26:09,909 Go on! Go! 242 00:26:16,795 --> 00:26:19,463 Well, I wonder where you are going. 243 00:26:19,463 --> 00:26:24,696 There's an entertaining space related project planned. 244 00:26:24,696 --> 00:26:28,160 What? What are you talking about? Speak more comprehensibly! 245 00:26:28,399 --> 00:26:31,093 - Well, I'm going with some buddies to the Planetarium. - Ah! You are lying. 246 00:26:31,093 --> 00:26:36,186 Last time you also said you went to the Planetarium and when you came back you smelled so strongly of wine. 247 00:26:36,186 --> 00:26:38,862 You were lucky that it was me, who opened the door for you and not your Dad. 248 00:26:38,862 --> 00:26:43,312 - Dad? - Yes, Dad. - La, la, la... - What? What are you scaring me for? 249 00:26:43,655 --> 00:26:49,063 - But still... Where are you going? - Ah... To a job interview. 250 00:26:49,063 --> 00:26:53,765 - You are lying again. - Muzzer, that's rude. 251 00:26:53,765 --> 00:26:59,766 But, Zhorochka... Zhorochka... I am your Mommy, after all, I need to know where you are going. 252 00:26:59,766 --> 00:27:02,604 I'll be home by lunch. 253 00:27:07,055 --> 00:27:15,148 See ya... Good-bye, my melancholia baby. 254 00:27:19,295 --> 00:27:26,960 - Eh, his father doesn't see... - Hm, villager! 255 00:28:37,092 --> 00:28:41,771 And... Moscva and Mir and Druzhba... (Moscow and Peace and Friendship) 256 00:28:59,876 --> 00:29:08,884 You.. what? Is not Russian? You not Russian? 257 00:29:08,884 --> 00:29:12,856 - In fact, I am Russian. Very vell, we will speak in Russian. 258 00:29:12,856 --> 00:29:16,457 I studied... A, B, V, G, D 259 00:29:16,457 --> 00:29:17,166 Where? 260 00:29:23,936 --> 00:29:25,279 You to understand? 261 00:29:29,757 --> 00:29:31,152 That means you are an American? 262 00:29:31,444 --> 00:29:32,814 OK. And what's your name? 263 00:29:38,774 --> 00:29:42,206 - And who are you in general? - What's that? Who I is? - Yes. 264 00:29:42,620 --> 00:29:47,437 I is the most loved son of my Papa. 265 00:29:47,843 --> 00:29:51,430 And I hope your Papa there is not just a working class, ah? 266 00:29:56,133 --> 00:29:56,973 A big shop. 267 00:29:56,973 --> 00:29:59,439 Like Central Store here? - Welllll, the Central is...(shows "little") 268 00:29:59,439 --> 00:30:02,645 - Then General Store? - Just little, little of General Store. 269 00:30:04,078 --> 00:30:10,303 Frank, let's go to a cafe. Vodka, ikra... c-a-v-a-i-r. My treat. 270 00:30:10,303 --> 00:30:15,799 - Vodka? - Yes. - No I can't. Very badly. My liver. 271 00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:27,448 - Let's go to my house then. - Oh, your house? As guest? - Yes, as guest. 272 00:30:27,448 --> 00:30:32,905 - Oh, guests is very good. Very good. - We'll talk about business and all will be OK. - Oh, business... 273 00:30:33,141 --> 00:30:36,697 Listen, George. Wait for me a minute. 274 00:30:37,432 --> 00:30:38,885 Here, yes. 275 00:31:03,595 --> 00:31:05,636 See? 276 00:31:07,382 --> 00:31:09,996 I took a States one. 277 00:31:11,397 --> 00:31:15,808 Limp to my place. And grab Mary for company. 278 00:31:16,119 --> 00:31:18,677 No, Aleksei Nikolayevich, I'll stop by the editing office later. 279 00:31:18,677 --> 00:31:23,577 A young man here wants me to visit his house. No, not a girl, no. 280 00:31:23,785 --> 00:31:28,774 Yes, I think it'll be in the interests of the paper. All right. 281 00:31:45,861 --> 00:31:48,728 Hello. 282 00:31:48,728 --> 00:31:53,345 Well, we are home at last. May I introduce Frank, an American. 283 00:31:54,411 --> 00:31:56,200 Pleased to meet you. 284 00:31:57,135 --> 00:31:59,683 And this is my muzzer. 285 00:31:59,683 --> 00:32:03,743 - Muzzer is mommy in English. - I understand. I get it. 286 00:32:04,001 --> 00:32:09,337 And fuzzer is Grigoriy Pavlovich, my husband. Papa. - Very good. - Hello. 287 00:32:11,877 --> 00:32:13,999 Hello. Merci... 288 00:32:21,158 --> 00:32:24,182 Muzzer, Mr. Frank has problems with liver. 289 00:32:24,182 --> 00:32:28,067 He doesn't drink vodka and doesn't eat caviar. Make something diet. 290 00:32:28,067 --> 00:32:33,261 - Then what? Cognac maybe? - Muzzer! - Kefir? Tea! - Yes. 291 00:32:42,126 --> 00:32:47,018 What? Our own freeloaders ("darmoyed") weren't enough that you brought a foreign one? 292 00:32:49,137 --> 00:33:00,672 - What is "darmoyed"? - It is... Well, "darmoyed" is... It's a new word meaning a buddy. 293 00:33:02,266 --> 00:33:05,581 That's to me. Let's make an agreement - not a word about the garb. (shirpotreb) 294 00:33:05,581 --> 00:33:08,889 And what is shir-po-treb? 295 00:33:08,889 --> 00:33:12,197 Well... It's clothes, get it? The stuff... 296 00:33:12,651 --> 00:33:21,202 Frank, may I introduce... This is Mary. And this is Edik. My friend. 297 00:33:23,676 --> 00:33:25,077 He is joking. 298 00:33:25,077 --> 00:33:27,349 He is a son of a millionaire. 299 00:33:27,914 --> 00:33:30,349 Welcome. 300 00:33:51,349 --> 00:33:55,322 - Your music, by the way. American. - Just listen what they do! 301 00:33:55,757 --> 00:34:00,575 - Music is beautiful, ah? - Driving me crazy. 302 00:34:00,575 --> 00:34:06,346 - Yes, it can... it can drive one crazy. - That's REAL Modern. 303 00:34:06,346 --> 00:34:09,965 Oh, and you like Modern? Modern American art? 304 00:34:09,965 --> 00:34:13,947 - It's colossal! - It's colossal! - Have you been at the American exhibition? 305 00:34:13,947 --> 00:34:16,911 - Yes, we were. We all were. - Pepsi Cola! 306 00:34:16,911 --> 00:34:20,402 - Oh, that? - Yes! Pepsi Cola! 307 00:34:20,402 --> 00:34:26,648 - And have you seen the American sculpture... woman? "Woman" out of stone?! 308 00:34:29,336 --> 00:34:35,951 - Good? - Grandiose! - Well, it's an abstract work. It speaks for itself. 309 00:34:35,951 --> 00:34:41,504 Oh! You is a grammared man! Very! Very smart! Who are you? 310 00:34:41,504 --> 00:34:46,585 I am... a... well... the... stomatologist. 311 00:34:46,585 --> 00:34:48,725 - Oh, dentist? - Yeah! - I see. I see. 312 00:34:48,725 --> 00:34:54,485 - Do you have a lot of work? - He-he... A tractor should work - it's made of iron. 313 00:34:54,485 --> 00:34:58,959 - I don't understand. - I'll explain. 314 00:35:03,885 --> 00:35:08,940 Well, I graduated from the school in Moscow. But got appointed to go to Barnaul. 315 00:35:08,940 --> 00:35:11,655 - Far?! - Far. 316 00:35:11,858 --> 00:35:18,539 And I ask you, what will I see in Barnaul in their mouths? 317 00:35:18,539 --> 00:35:26,074 So you is unemployed? It is very very interesting! 318 00:35:26,074 --> 00:35:30,209 There are unemployed in Soviet Union! 319 00:35:30,988 --> 00:35:36,198 - Do you get government support? - His fuzzer cashes out for him and his muzzer isn't too bad either. 320 00:35:44,313 --> 00:35:49,354 Thank you, I don't want any. No, no, I don't want any. 321 00:35:50,655 --> 00:35:56,072 Tell me, Frank. What styles do they where there now? 322 00:35:56,072 --> 00:36:06,318 Styles? That's hair?! Please. Sit down. I will to show. 323 00:36:21,421 --> 00:36:24,632 - Lux! - Not bad. 324 00:36:24,632 --> 00:36:29,991 It's an abstract. Super Fashion! The most fashionable! 325 00:36:29,991 --> 00:36:34,278 Not bad. 326 00:36:35,789 --> 00:36:40,154 - My God, how far behind we are after all! - Oh, yes. You are behind. 327 00:36:40,154 --> 00:36:45,307 - Yes. - You are VERY behind. - You are right, we are very very behind. I understand. 328 00:36:45,307 --> 00:36:48,907 - Muzzer! - What? Yes. You are right. You are completely right. 329 00:36:48,907 --> 00:36:52,752 - What is it? What is it? - Muzzer! - But you can't do this, Zhora! 330 00:36:52,752 --> 00:36:56,664 Zhora, it's very impolite to treat your mother like that when you have company. 331 00:36:56,664 --> 00:37:02,872 Gentlemen, I am having a question. How much is a kilo of c-a-v-i-a-r in Moscow? Ikra? 332 00:37:02,872 --> 00:37:05,567 The granular is 19. The lower quality is 13. 333 00:37:05,567 --> 00:37:11,167 Thank you very much. Very good. And how much is a kilo of rye bread - black bread? 334 00:37:18,066 --> 00:37:21,403 - Well, the pastries are 22 copecks... - Yes. 335 00:37:22,188 --> 00:37:26,631 - But black bread... - Ten copecks approximately. - Approximately. 336 00:37:26,631 --> 00:37:28,033 - We'll make sure in a second. - We'll just make sure. 337 00:37:28,033 --> 00:37:33,437 Granny! How much is a kilo of black bread, ah? 338 00:37:33,792 --> 00:37:35,769 A hundred roubles! 339 00:37:36,456 --> 00:37:41,310 Listen, gentlemen, it's all trifles. I am interested in a different matter... 340 00:37:41,310 --> 00:37:45,020 Tell me, Frank, did any women come with you? 341 00:37:45,020 --> 00:37:48,894 - Oh, no. I'm alone. - What a pity. I need fabrics for a dress so much! 342 00:37:48,894 --> 00:37:51,014 - Let's talk on a different topic! - What? 343 00:37:51,014 --> 00:37:55,925 Why? I have parsha (louse) for your. Parsha will suit your type very well. 344 00:37:55,925 --> 00:37:59,793 - You mean to say parCHa (brocade). - Oh, of course. Excuse me, of course, parcha. 345 00:37:59,793 --> 00:38:06,283 Oh, Frank, let's go dance. George has such tapes - they'll drive you crazy. 346 00:38:09,571 --> 00:38:11,509 All right. 347 00:38:23,606 --> 00:38:27,405 Tell me, Frank, do they still dance rock-n'-roll in America? 348 00:38:27,405 --> 00:38:29,892 No, the whole America is dancing rock-n'-brick! 349 00:38:29,892 --> 00:38:32,924 - Rock-n'-brick? - Yes, rock-n'-brick! 350 00:38:33,171 --> 00:38:36,617 - Frank! You have to show us! - You have to show! - Please show! 351 00:38:36,866 --> 00:38:43,843 All right! I will to show! Gentlemen, I ask you to move the table! Prepare the room! 352 00:38:49,877 --> 00:38:52,443 The gentleman and the lady lower to their quaters. 353 00:38:52,443 --> 00:38:55,825 And with rhythm start going one around another. 354 00:38:58,832 --> 00:39:02,939 Turn around your heads. Sit on the floor. 355 00:39:03,638 --> 00:39:07,607 Jump, jump more! More! Jump! Good! Good job! 356 00:39:08,363 --> 00:39:10,422 Legs higher! Legs higher! 357 00:39:11,034 --> 00:39:13,277 Oh, my Lord! 358 00:39:13,807 --> 00:39:16,305 Not bad! But I won't have enough pants! 359 00:39:16,305 --> 00:39:18,195 Yes, you will! I will give shirpotreb to everyone! 360 00:39:18,195 --> 00:39:20,376 - (Zhora yelling) Shirpotreb! - I'll give everyone trousers! 361 00:39:20,376 --> 00:39:23,717 George, turn up the music, I want to see how you learned rock-n'-brick! 362 00:39:32,592 --> 00:39:34,294 Walk on the wall! 363 00:39:40,101 --> 00:39:42,289 Jump under the table! 364 00:39:50,009 --> 00:39:52,316 Do like this - like a frog! 365 00:40:08,076 --> 00:40:13,045 - Colossal! - I will to go. - I don't want you to leave! 366 00:40:13,045 --> 00:40:17,749 I will to go to the hotel. I will prepare shirpotreb for you! 367 00:40:23,942 --> 00:40:29,826 - Single-breasted suuuuuit... - Oh, men's suit? Three of them! 368 00:40:30,318 --> 00:40:35,999 - Do you need an icon? - Yes, I do. - Do you need a balalaika? - Yes, I need balalaika! 369 00:40:38,726 --> 00:40:42,720 Ok, I will wait in my room forty. Number forty, yes? 370 00:40:46,346 --> 00:40:51,594 I don't need to be seen off. I will to go myself. I will go taxi. 371 00:40:51,594 --> 00:40:55,116 We'll be without Mary. She can't show her face at the hotel. 372 00:40:55,116 --> 00:41:01,273 - Why? - They know her there and don't let her in. - Ah, I see. I see. 373 00:41:16,601 --> 00:41:19,498 Come in. Come on in! Come in! 374 00:41:28,465 --> 00:41:30,774 I'll be right there. 375 00:41:30,774 --> 00:41:33,726 - Listen, let spread our things. - Let's. 376 00:41:48,981 --> 00:41:52,913 "Moon is shining, shining brightly..." 377 00:41:54,255 --> 00:41:56,607 Hello, George, hello, Edik. 378 00:41:56,826 --> 00:41:59,684 Oh, Russian music. Very good. 379 00:42:02,626 --> 00:42:06,050 I'll ask for one photo - for memory. 380 00:42:11,176 --> 00:42:16,386 - Well, shall we begin? - Yes, let's begin. You're welcome. 381 00:42:23,535 --> 00:42:26,201 "Moscow Sewing Factory #36" 382 00:42:44,766 --> 00:42:50,613 Who did you take? This is from "Komsomolka" factory! 383 00:42:50,613 --> 00:42:55,810 But I don't have any others, gentlemen. A coat from Moscow, a suit from Leningrad. 384 00:42:57,370 --> 00:43:03,205 Why long faces, fellas? Maybe you should dance some rock-n'-brick?! 385 00:43:19,598 --> 00:43:22,632 Where are you going, foreigners? 386 00:43:25,502 --> 00:43:27,959 "Foreigners" - Komsomolskaya Pravda. 387 00:43:28,193 --> 00:43:32,078 People, this is the end! 388 00:43:36,138 --> 00:43:40,422 BON APPETIT! 389 00:43:58,738 --> 00:44:00,798 Cast: 390 00:44:00,798 --> 00:44:04,810 Customer - S. Anikeyev 391 00:44:04,810 --> 00:44:08,720 Waitress - M. Polbentzeva 392 00:44:08,720 --> 00:44:11,920 Cashier - O. Viklandt 393 00:45:01,075 --> 00:45:02,323 Can you imagine?! 394 00:45:02,323 --> 00:45:07,927 He opened the bottle himself and poured all champagne behind the waiter's collar! 395 00:45:08,814 --> 00:45:14,292 Throws the bottle into a mirror and they charge the waiter for the mirror, too! 396 00:45:14,292 --> 00:45:15,459 Can you imagine?! 397 00:45:15,459 --> 00:45:17,549 That's horrible! In what cafe did it happen? 398 00:45:17,549 --> 00:45:20,876 Not in a cafe! That was loooong ago. 399 00:45:21,093 --> 00:45:24,090 Did you listen to the radio today? 400 00:45:24,090 --> 00:45:25,669 No. Why? 401 00:45:25,895 --> 00:45:31,808 There was a wonderful program! An ex-waiter was talking. A pensioner. 402 00:45:31,808 --> 00:45:36,753 And he was telling how customers were mistreating our lot. 403 00:45:36,753 --> 00:45:40,794 - A waiter wasn't considered a human being. - Young lady! 404 00:45:46,097 --> 00:45:50,014 - By the way, does anybody serve this table. - Not "anybody", but me. 405 00:45:50,014 --> 00:45:53,542 - Very good. - For your information, a waiter is also a human being. 406 00:45:53,542 --> 00:45:55,693 And I also think so. 407 00:45:59,295 --> 00:46:04,036 - Well, keep telling! Go on! - He said, the rich were torturing them! 408 00:46:04,036 --> 00:46:06,767 They were thinking over the menus for hours! 409 00:46:06,767 --> 00:46:10,733 Complained about the table layouts, sent the waiters for beer all the time! By the baskets! 410 00:46:10,733 --> 00:46:15,303 And if you are late just a second, they'll sack you right away! 411 00:46:15,303 --> 00:46:18,097 - Can you imagine?! - But that's horrible! - And what did you think? 412 00:46:18,097 --> 00:46:21,913 Young lady, could you please bring a bottle of beer? 413 00:46:22,429 --> 00:46:28,031 Hm! Beer-gulper! He sees, doesn't he, that I'm talking with someone! 414 00:46:28,420 --> 00:46:31,775 Don't tell without me!... What, you can't wait a second? 415 00:46:31,775 --> 00:46:36,910 - Is it a waiting hall then? - Citizen, did you come here to eat or to criticize? 416 00:46:36,910 --> 00:46:40,157 - They are waiting for me, you know. - To eat. To eat. - Then take some borsch. 417 00:46:40,157 --> 00:46:44,714 I don't need borsch. I would like some fish. 418 00:46:44,714 --> 00:46:49,144 Can't you read? Don't you see the little birdie across from the fish? 419 00:46:49,144 --> 00:46:52,514 - Birdie? - Yes. - Good, then. Give me the birdie. 420 00:46:52,514 --> 00:46:55,028 - What birdie? - Well, say chicken. 421 00:46:55,028 --> 00:46:57,901 Don't you see, there's another birdie across from chicken. 422 00:46:57,901 --> 00:47:03,112 Another? No, I don't need another birdie. Well... Say, some broth then? 423 00:47:03,112 --> 00:47:06,179 - Do you have pastries? - We're all out. - All out. 424 00:47:06,179 --> 00:47:10,007 - What about sweddish meat balls? - Out. - Out. 425 00:47:10,007 --> 00:47:13,308 - And cabbage soup? Also out? - They weren't in yet. 426 00:47:13,308 --> 00:47:17,806 - So what? You don't have anything at all? - Why not? The borsch. 427 00:47:17,806 --> 00:47:21,394 - Ah? The borsch... - And besides, citizen, it's not old times anymore to sit over the menu long. 428 00:47:21,394 --> 00:47:24,825 - Your lot ate everything - the customers. - My lot?! - Yes. 429 00:47:24,825 --> 00:47:29,797 - Or maybe it was YOUR lot? - Oh, no. My lot doesn't eat here. 430 00:47:29,797 --> 00:47:33,696 - Just take the borsch, citizen. - All right, bring me the borsch. 431 00:47:33,696 --> 00:47:36,944 - All right. One borsch... - Do you have any cray fish? - Yes. 432 00:47:36,944 --> 00:47:40,008 - Then bring ten cray fish. - 10 cray fish. 433 00:47:41,647 --> 00:47:46,232 Oh, your beer is all warm. Don't you have anything colder? 434 00:47:46,232 --> 00:47:49,485 There's only tea. If you don't want that I can bring you some milk. 435 00:47:49,485 --> 00:47:52,960 Maksimych! Borsch - one, cray fish - ten. Milk. 436 00:47:53,178 --> 00:47:57,046 It won't be long and you'll wash all you nail-polish off. 437 00:47:57,046 --> 00:47:58,976 And you just keep criticizing, don't you? 438 00:47:59,242 --> 00:48:04,563 And wouldn't you exchange my fork, please? This one has only two teeth. 439 00:48:04,563 --> 00:48:09,010 And that's not enough for you? You should have said at once that you need a comb, not a fork. 440 00:48:09,010 --> 00:48:14,148 Not a comb, but not an awl either. And you didn't give me a knife. 441 00:48:14,148 --> 00:48:17,681 And one doesn't eat soup with a knife. You need to listen to lectures, citizen. 442 00:48:17,681 --> 00:48:26,793 Can you imagine? If something is not their way, they spread mustard on our lot, like on hot dogs. 443 00:48:26,793 --> 00:48:31,661 Can you imagine?! And if you say a word, they sack you at once. 444 00:48:31,661 --> 00:48:34,765 - But that's just terrible! - And what else did he say? 445 00:48:34,765 --> 00:48:41,113 He just kept saying how picky they were - this dish is not right, that one isn't. 446 00:48:41,113 --> 00:48:43,673 Right, right. That one is just like that. 447 00:48:43,673 --> 00:48:45,329 Here's cray fish. 448 00:48:50,131 --> 00:48:55,496 - And also he said they offended waiters by tipping. - A lot? - A lot. 449 00:48:55,496 --> 00:48:58,353 Young lady, may I see you for a moment? 450 00:48:58,353 --> 00:49:04,609 - I don't think this is borsch. - Yes, it's borsch. - You won't exchange it for me? 451 00:49:04,609 --> 00:49:07,683 - We are out of borsch now. Too late. - Too late? - Yes. 452 00:49:07,683 --> 00:49:10,785 - Will you eat the cray fish? - Are they fresh? - Maybe. 453 00:49:10,785 --> 00:49:14,497 And why are they already without claws? 454 00:49:14,497 --> 00:49:20,362 Don't you know, citizen, that while they are alive, cray fish fight with each other? 455 00:49:20,362 --> 00:49:28,383 - And the weaker ones lose their claws. You see? - I see. But maybe you could bring me the winners? 456 00:49:28,383 --> 00:49:31,860 The winners are already eaten, citizen. The customers ate the winners. 457 00:49:31,860 --> 00:49:36,182 - The customers? - Yes. - And you think it would be better without customers at all? 458 00:49:36,182 --> 00:49:39,260 We can't be without customers. They help us reach the planned income. 459 00:49:39,260 --> 00:49:43,827 - Well, if the plan... Then count. - All right. 460 00:49:43,827 --> 00:49:48,849 Borsch - 35 copecks, beer - 30 copecks, cray fish - 90 copecks, milk - 20 copecks. 461 00:49:48,849 --> 00:49:50,660 The milk was sour - I didn't drink it. 462 00:49:50,660 --> 00:49:53,076 Then it's 30 copecks, as it's kefir already. 463 00:49:53,076 --> 00:49:54,592 Total is 1.90. 464 00:49:54,839 --> 00:49:56,980 - Here you are. - Thank you. 465 00:49:58,689 --> 00:50:02,385 Young lady, don't you think that all this is just horrible?! 466 00:50:02,385 --> 00:50:06,487 The old times were horrible, citizen. You should have listened in the morning 467 00:50:06,487 --> 00:50:10,170 how an ex-waiter was talking on the radio. THAT was horrible! 468 00:50:10,170 --> 00:50:14,898 Why would I listen, when it was ME talking on that radio. You see? 469 00:50:14,898 --> 00:50:19,878 What is going on? In old times as a waiter I had to put up with customers, 470 00:50:19,878 --> 00:50:23,400 and now as a customer I have to put up with the waiters? 471 00:50:23,400 --> 00:50:27,160 Is that what you think? Ah, lady, lady! 472 00:50:27,160 --> 00:50:29,627 Girls, girls! He was the one talking on the radio! 473 00:50:29,627 --> 00:50:34,788 Comrade! Comrade! Why didn't you tell us at once that you were THAT waiter? 474 00:50:34,788 --> 00:50:39,497 - We thought you were just a customer. - Don't you worry, now we'll serve you right away! 475 00:50:39,497 --> 00:50:43,281 - It's just horrible! - Sit down please! - Take a seat! 476 00:50:43,281 --> 00:50:49,189 No! It's your turn to sit now. Now I will show you how one has to serve. 477 00:50:49,189 --> 00:50:54,879 (singing) - When a customer comes, I'm glad to see him. I'm glad, 478 00:50:54,879 --> 00:51:01,056 I'm like a caring parent to his children, like a friend to a friend, a brother to a brother. 479 00:51:01,056 --> 00:51:09,418 Welcome to the table. You'll be better here and you should go into the corner. 480 00:51:09,418 --> 00:51:15,088 It's more comfortable here and prettier. And for everything to be hygienic, 481 00:51:15,088 --> 00:51:21,950 I'll change the settings on the tables for all of you, while you're looking through the menu. 482 00:51:29,450 --> 00:51:34,868 Not a spot and no dust on the crystal. - On the crystal. 483 00:51:34,868 --> 00:51:40,983 And flowers like from a picture on the table. - On the table. 484 00:51:40,983 --> 00:51:47,002 Everything is sparkling and shining. Beautiful! - Beautiful! 485 00:51:47,002 --> 00:51:53,161 Cleanliness excites appetite. It does. 486 00:51:53,161 --> 00:51:59,807 I'm glad to help my guests, my clients, to choose their lunch. 487 00:51:59,807 --> 00:52:05,673 Like a skillful doctor to the patients, I'll give them advice. 488 00:52:05,673 --> 00:52:08,688 If you are hot, then have okroshka! - Okroshka! 489 00:52:08,688 --> 00:52:11,635 If you are skinny, have ragout! - Ragout?! 490 00:52:11,635 --> 00:52:14,846 If you are heavy, then some peas. - Just a little. 491 00:52:14,846 --> 00:52:21,912 If you are dieting, have cottage cheese. - Cottage cheese? I can't. 492 00:52:21,912 --> 00:52:25,298 Then I advise you to have fresh vegetable salad. 493 00:52:25,298 --> 00:52:28,375 Without vitamins, they say, you'd be too skinny, like a stick. 494 00:52:28,375 --> 00:52:31,296 But taking your vitamins - A and B and C, 495 00:52:31,296 --> 00:52:34,613 A citizen will acquire color in his cheeks. 496 00:52:34,613 --> 00:52:37,777 I won't hold you a minute longer than needed. 497 00:52:37,777 --> 00:52:40,927 I'm hurrying to you. I'm hurrying to you. 498 00:52:40,927 --> 00:52:47,225 I'll serve you fish with a smile, I'll serve you duck with a joke. 499 00:52:49,524 --> 00:52:55,680 Maybe I'm bringing this cutlet to someone who invented a rocket 500 00:52:55,680 --> 00:53:02,038 and serving the ham to those, who are going to the Moon?! 501 00:53:02,038 --> 00:53:05,218 Doesn't matter if you are working with steel or with soup, 502 00:53:05,218 --> 00:53:08,848 Doesn't matter if you sew or sing. 503 00:53:08,848 --> 00:53:12,194 But if you are friendly with people, 504 00:53:12,194 --> 00:53:15,415 You'll find them be your friends always. 505 00:53:15,415 --> 00:53:22,562 Be you a lector, an architect or a doctor, be you a pilot, or a book binder or a weaver, 506 00:53:22,562 --> 00:53:32,017 Be you a cook or be you a waiter, people need your talent in every sphere. 507 00:53:32,017 --> 00:53:42,451 Your attention, your wish to work, your diligence - 508 00:53:42,451 --> 00:53:45,976 be you a suit maker or a musician, 509 00:53:45,976 --> 00:53:56,365 Your skill, your excitement, your striving. 510 00:53:56,365 --> 00:54:00,514 People need your talent everywhere! 511 00:54:06,650 --> 00:54:15,468 BARBOS, THE DOG or THE UNUSUAL CROSS-COUNTRY RACE 512 00:54:33,232 --> 00:54:36,191 Cast: 513 00:54:36,477 --> 00:54:38,830 Old Stager - Ye. Morgunov 514 00:54:38,830 --> 00:54:41,364 Coward - G. Vitzin 515 00:54:41,364 --> 00:54:43,587 Moron - Yu. Nikulin 516 00:56:32,056 --> 00:56:34,967 "Dynamite" 517 01:04:00,743 --> 01:04:04,142 That's it. 518 01:04:04,142 --> 01:04:06,573 THE END